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Council Services:

Have your say

Tell us how we can improve services for other people who are suffering at the hands of abusers?

So far, 98 people have fed back to us on how we can improve services for other people suffering at the hands of abusers, and we say a BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ALL.

As a direct result of feedback the Domestic Abuse Team at Lincolnshire County Council made the following changes in Lincolnshire:

  1. More time has been spent on the website and publicity around the website so it is easier to find and use.
  2. More posters and leaflets are readily available in Lincolnshire for people to find.
  3. Posters and leaflets explain not just physical abuse, but also emotional/psychological abuse.
  4. The Lincolnshire Safeguarding Adults Board and Childrens Board and the Domestic Abuse Partnership now have a joint Protocol to aid practitioners working with both adults and children to know how to support.
  5. Improved training for practitioners in Lincolnshire.
  6. Amended this feedback form, as it wasn’t appropriate for those people who had been abused by a family member rather than a partner.

However, if you feel we can do more, please complete the feedback form below and share with us your experiences, we would also like to know about positive experiences where help was received.

The feedback from these 98 people has also informed us that the top ten reasons why a person stays in an abusive relationship are:

  1. Fear
  2. No confidence
  3. He/she promised to change/ I believed he or she would change
  4. Debt/no money
  5. Determined to make the relationship/marriage work/didn’t want to fail
  6. Nowhere to go
  7. Love
  8. Children (e.g. impact on children, for the sake of the children, didn’t want them to be without a dad/mum)
  9. Threatened to kill me/thought he/she would kill me
  10. I thought it was normal/didn’t realise how bad it had become

So please, don’t feel you are/were alone in your reasoning for staying.

The most common form of feedback was that you wanted to read other’s stories and how they survived; some such stories have already been shared with us on our Real Life Cases web page.

However, if anyone reading this is willing to tell their story anonymously to inspire and give confidence to others, we would be willing to film/portray it for you and put it on the website for others to watch. All you would need to do is contact us via our email domesticabuse@lincolnshire.gov.uk.

Through this feedback form we would like you to tell us how we can further improve services for other people who are suffering at the hands of abusers.

If you have been in an abusive relationship you will know how difficult it is, both practically and emotionally.

We often hear the myth “if it was that bad, why doesn’t he/she leave”, but in reality we know that it is not that easy!

Sometimes, even though we want to, it’s not that easy to leave an abusive relationship.

We need to make sure that agencies in Lincolnshire are doing everything they can to support victims of domestic abuse get the help they need, when they need it - and to do that we need your help.

By completing this questionnaire, you can help ensure that other people who are in abusive relationships get the services that they deserve.

The information you give will be sent anonymously to the County Domestic Abuse Manager who will use the answers to help improve services for victims of domestic abuse, in partnership with other Lincolnshire agencies. You will not be contacted by anyone.

Complete the Escaping Domestic Abuse Questionnaire

Here are some of the quotes we have received from survivors of domestic abuse, they may be of help to you, as you are not on your own.

“I didn’t know about mental abuse I thought domestic abuse was physical. It started when I was 15/16yrs old through to about 19 years old. I used to wish he would hit me towards the end of the relationship so I had a proper reason everyone would agree with for leaving. However the emotional blackmail he used was in such a way I didn’t see it as abuse so I didn’t contact anyone for help, I didn’t realise I needed help.”

“I loved her, and thought it was normal. I didn’t realise it was abuse, I just thought she could be unreasonable at times, but because there were also good times, I wanted to stay with her.”

“My biggest problem was thinking that no one will believe me and I felt that I may as well just keep going since we can hide behind a normal front.”

“I stayed because of pressure from my family, not having any money, not wanting to disrupt the children’s lives, not wanting to fail, didn’t think anyone would believe me anyway. I felt that I brought it on myself by marrying him.”

If you live in...

  • Boston or South Holland call 01205 311272/01205 318600
  • East Lindsey call 01507 609830
  • West Lindsey, Lincoln, North Kesteven or South Kesteven call 01427 616219/01522 510041
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    Last updated: 18 May 2016

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