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Council Services:

Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone.  It can happen between people who are in a relationship but it can also happen when a relationship has ended.  It can happen between family members.

Although domestic abuse happens mostly between adults, children and young people can be affected by the abuse that they see and hear, and they can be harmed as part of domestic abuse between adults. Young people may also experience abuse from their own boy/girlfriend.

Domestic abuse can be:


  • constantly checking where someone is
  • preventing someone from seeing their friends or family
  • constantly putting a person down
  • using the children to bully
  • Shouting and intimidating behaviour
  • Stalking and harassment


  • punching, kicking, slapping, pushing,
  • strangling or smothering someone
  • threatening to hurt someone
  • not allowing someone to take medication or giving them too much


  • making a person do sexual things that they do not want to do
  • rape


  • not allowing someone to have any money
  • deliberately getting someone into debt
  • making someone give up their job or stopping them from getting a job

Domestic abuse is a repeated pattern of behaviour that is often very controlling. 

Source: Youtube

Mum-of-two Emma Murphy explains her ordeal and why she chose to leave her ex-partner. Her video has since gone viral. WARNING: this video may be distressful to some viewers.

Effects on children

Children who witness, intervene or hear incidents are affected in many ways. What can be guaranteed is that children do hear, they do see and they are aware of abuse in the family.

Children will learn how to behave from examples parents or carers set for them. Domestic abuse teaches children negative things about relationships and how to deal with people.

For instance:

  • It can teach them that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict.
  • They learn how to keep secrets.
  • They learn to mistrust those close to them and that children are responsible and to blame for violence, especially if violence erupts after an argument about the children  

Long-term effects

The longer children are exposed to abuse, the more severe the effects on them are. These can include:

  • A lack of respect for the non-violent parent.
  • Loss of self-confidence, which will affect their ability to form relationships in the future.
  • Being over-protective of parent.
  • Loss of childhood.
  • Problems at school.
  • Running away.

Young people in an abusive relationship

A recent NSPCC survey showed that 25% of girls and 18% of boys have experienced physical violence in a relationship.

As with adults, abuse in teen relationships doesn’t just cover physical violence. Other examples of this type of abuse include:

  • pressuring a partner into having sex
  • controlling behaviour
  • unnecessary jealousy or anger

Remember that abuse in a relationship is never okay. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect from their partner.

If you are worried that your child is in an abusive relationship seek help/advice from professionals who can help you and your child.

If domestic abuse is happening in your family, either to you or to your child, remember that you are not alone. Domestic abuse happens in many families and there are people that can help you and your family. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe.

Report your concerns about yourself or someone else to the police, a health professional, a domestic abuse charity or anyone else that you trust and who can help.

If you are worried that your child might be affected, talk to them about what is happening.

Spend time together talking through worries they have.

Seek help to keep you and your children safe.


  • Children's Services

    Tel: 01522 782111

  • Childline

    Tel: 0800 1111


    Tel: 0808 800 5000

  • Lincolnshire Police

    Tel: 101 for non emergencies, 999 in an emergency

  • National Domestic Violence Helpline

    Tel: 0808 2000 247

  • County Domestic Abuse Manager

    Tel: 01522 554509

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Last updated: 4 August 2017

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