Domestic Abuse

COVID-19

Regardless of coronavirus restrictions, support services for victims of domestic abuse are still available and you do not need to stay at home if you are experiencing domestic abuse.

EDAN Lincs Domestic Abuse Service is a registered charity covering the whole of Lincolnshire, providing support and assistance to all women, men and children suffering from or fleeing from domestic abuse. You can call the service on 01522 510041, or visit their website.

If you or your children are in immediate danger, please call 999.

If are you worried about somebody else’s safety report this to us; call 01522 782111 if you are worried about a child, or 01522 782155 if you are worried about an adult.

Other support services:

Do not be afraid to seek support, you will be believed. Don't suffer in silence.

 

Signs of domestic abuse

Domestic abuse is not a one-off incident, but an ongoing pattern of behaviour in the relationship. It includes a range of behaviours which, once begun, repeats and often gets worse over time.

Anyone can be a victim regardless of age, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

Read the definition of Domestic Abuse on GOV.uk

In an unhealthy relationship, you feel:

  • frightened
  • intimidated
  • isolated
  • ashamed 

Your partner or family member:

  • threatens you
  • makes all the decisions
  • controls you
  • blames you
  • threatens to harm others
  • humiliates you

People do not leave abusive relationships because they:

  • may feel lonely, confused, frightened and ashamed
  • worry leaving will make things worse
  • believe that the perpetrator can get help and fix the relationship
  • face threats (for example, violence or having children taken away)
  • may have to start again, including moving and leaving their job
  • do not believe they are in an abusive relationship
  • make excuses for bad behaviour as time goes on
  • still love their partner of family member

What you can do if in an abusive relationship

If you are in an abusive relation and not ready to leave, you should:

  • keep important phone numbers to hand
  • tell someone nearby you trust about the abuse. They can call the police if they hear violent noises
  • practice ways to get out of your home quickly and safely
  • keep safe places in your home where there are exits and no weapons

If you decide to leave:

  • photocopy or know where important documents are, such as marriage and birth certificates, passports, financial papers
  • have a mobile phone charged and topped up
  • open a savings account in your own name to establish your independence
  • decide who you could stay with, if the need arises
  • keep spare change for taxis and bus fares, if needed
  • agree a ‘code word’ you can use with police or other services

In an emergency, always call the police on 999.

Keep an escape bag

When you are ready to leave, you should also consider making an escape bag. It should contain:

  • passport and/or driving licence
  • birth certificate
  • benefits book, if applicable
  • NI number
  • medicines for you and/or your children
  • snacks
  • a change of clothes

How to help someone in an abusive relationship

If you think a friend, family member or colleague is suffering abuse, you can help them.

Tell them they are not to blame for any of the behaviour. Let them know that they can get emotional support for themselves and any children they may have.

You should:

  • believe what they tell you and show you care
  • not expect them to make a sudden decision
  • help them to explore the choices they have
  • not mediate or be the contact person between them and the abuser
  • assure them they are not alone and there is help available
  • encourage them to speak to a specialist support service
  • offer practical help, such as the use of your address for post, telephone or computer
  • encourage them to take all threats seriously and report the abuse
  • never minimise the threats made by the abuser

If you believe a child is suffering you should report your concerns. The right support needs to be offered to the child and their parents or carers.

To report a concern, call us on 01522 782111.

If it is outside normal office hours, call 01522 782333.

Local support for domestic abuse victims

We understand how difficult it is to report domestic abuse.

We will work with you to prevent further harm against you and any children. This includes helping you to access specialist support.

We want to ensure victims and survivors of domestic abuse feel safe, valued and have their voices heard.

Lincolnshire organisations include:

National help:

Domestic abuse information for professionals

If you are a practitioner in Lincolnshire, we offer a range of resources to help you support someone who is, or knows someone who is, a victim of domestic abuse.

Resources include MARAC guidance, awareness campaign materials, information for you or colleagues, risk assessments, training and events, models and processes and more. 

The Lincolnshire Multi-Agency Domestic Abuse Joint Protocol also helps us to further our service and learning.

Multi Agency Practice Guidelines on FGM can be downloaded from the gov.uk website

If you want to know the latest training courses available or stay up to date, sign up to our monthly newsletter.

Schools

If you are discussing healthy relationships within lessons, we offer a number of materials for you to use.

All of the resources mentioned are available to download for free.